again

i dont have that kind of words
how do you draw in a few syllables
or many, a picture of a black hole?
or emptiness, or a desert?

i saw you in my dreams again
alive, smiling, soft
is it really so out of proportions
whats the correct length mourning?

how decides these things?
who lays down the laws
whom we can love, how and how much
and the ways in which we can die

i felt your smile around me
softly, u drew me in
these memories are like a soft edged knife
smoothly slides in and hammers out again

suddenly i'm out of breath
inside i'm screaming
outside there's just a distant look
in my eye, that passes when u look this way

yes, i'm learning the lessons life's been teaching
now i leave quietly through the backdoors
pristine honesty, contracts of love, santa claus and forever
now i know they're just dreams

its one of those times again
soon, i know, it will pass
for now i can only wait
till the pain recedes to a dull ache again