The Savage Desert - Continued

SCENE 17 (CONTINUED)

FRED AND JUNE ARE TO ONE SIDE OF GROUP SITTING ON ROCK. JUNE IS WRITING POSTCARDS.

FRED:
It doesn’t matter if we can’t remember the postcode. It’ll get there.

JUNE:We should have told everyone we were going.

FRED:
We couldn’t, could we? Anyway, they’ll know when they get the cards, won’t they?

JUNE:
But where will we post them?

FRED:
Just don’t worry, okay.

JUNE:
But I do. We left in such a hurry. I didn’t even say good bye to my mum…

SCENE 18. EXT. DESERT. A COUPLE OF HOURS LATER.
ARTY SHOTS OF THE PARTY TREKKING ACROSS THE DESERT.
CUT TO:
DANIELLA AND TERENCE.

DANIELLA:
(TO CAMERA) I don’t know how long I can keep this up, to be honest. I ache all over. The heat. The sun. It’s gruelling, it really is. (TO TERRY) Have you got those moisturised towelettes? (TERRY HANDS HER ONE) No, no, no. Not that one. The peach.

CUT TO:
RON. HE IS SWEATING. HE TAKES OUT A MARLBOROUGH LITE AND LIGHTS UP. HE GAZES INTO THE DISTANCE AS THOUGH OVERWHELMED BY THE DESERT’S BEAUTY.

RON:
That’s beautiful.

FX – CLINKING OXYGEN BOTTLES. RON LOOKS BACK THE WAY HE’S COME.

Hurry up, love.

CUT TO:
CDT. HIS LEG IS HEAVILY BANDAGED. HE CALLS A HALT.

CDT:(TO GROUP)
Five minutes rest. You’ve all earned it.
(PAUSE) (EVERYONE GATHERS ROUND)
CLOSE UP
Water. It’s our number one priority. Our body is 70% water. The average person consists of 11 gallons of water. And lack of water is number one cause of death in the desert. You can live for several months in the desert without food. But if you run out of water you could be dead within minutes.
So… what can you do?
Drink lots of small amounts. Don’t drink alcohol. Stay in the shade wherever possible. Stay out of strong sunlight or strong moonlight.

RON:
(OFF CAMERA) Moonlight? That can’t be right.

CDT:
Yes, moonlight. And never drink your own urine.

FRED:
(OFF CAMERA) Can you drink other people’s?

CUT TO:
WE SEE FRED’S HAND PLACE LIAM’S BIG METAL BOWL ON TO GROUND. WATER SPLASHES INTO IT. LIAM DRINKS NOISILY. WATER SPLASHES EVERYWHERE.

CUT TO:
ZEPH AND CDT ARE TALKING.

ZEPH:
How far do you think we’ve come then?

CDT:
Good question. Let’s see. (HE GLANCES AT SKY. HE LOOKS AT WATCH. HE RUBS CHIN) Well… I’d say… about a kilometre or so.

ZEPH NODS KNOWINGLY. (PAUSE.)

ZEPH:
I’ve been thinking. I’m sure I know you. Haven’t we met somewhere before?

CDT:
Er… I shouldn’t think so. Were you in the Army? The First Armoured Division?

ZEPH:
No way. Didn’t you ever hear my solo album – Freedom Avenue? All about freedom? It was the Eighties version of Crosby, Stills and Nash – but with synthesisers. And better harmonies. It sold nearly a million.

JIZZ JOINS THEM.

ZEPH:
Hi, honey. I was just saying to the Captain. He looks familiar. I’m sure I’ve seen him somewhere.

CDT: (TO JIZZ) You look familiar. Have you done any modelling? FHM? LOADED?

JIZZ:
(FLATTERED) No… not yet.

CDT:
Well you should. An attractive girl like you. You’d be a natural with those lovely breasts. You should try it. I’ve got one or two contacts…

ZEPH:
How far have we got left to go?

CDT:
About 199 kilometres.

ZEPH:
Shouldn’t we be making a start then?

CDT: I guess so. No. Wait. (HE HAS SPOTTED A LARGE PRICKLY PEAR) Everyone. Gather round.

CUT TO:
EVERYONE GATHERED AROUND PRICKLY PEAR. CDT DEMONSTRATES HOW TO GET WATER FROM IT.

CDT:
These cacti can go for years without water. Why? Because when the rains do come, maybe once or twice a century, they store water in their leaves. A bit like camels.

ZEPH:
Do camels have leaves then?

CDT CUTS BRANCH DOWN AND SQUEEZES OUT WATER.

CDT:
You do have to be careful, though. They have – ouch! – thousands of little – ooh! – barbed spines that – ah! – stick in your fingers.

HE SQUEEZES WATER INTO CUP.

(TO FRED) Try that.

FRED TAKES SIP AND SPITS IT OUT.

FRED: That tastes of kangaroo vomit.

CDT:
Not when you’re dying of thirst in the desert it doesn’t.

JIZZ:
(O.O.V) But we’ve got gallons of water in the Winnibago.