Devoted exclusively to the creative process. Here you will see photojournaling, poetry, prose, an occasional review--journaling or philosophical writing can be found on our other blogs. This is our attempt to use our imaginations. Enjoy!

Monday, January 15, 2007

again and again

they slay me.
people with clean sentiments. the way they dress it all up pretty pink and flushed.
as if their worlds are really like that. as if pain and bruises don't touch them. just the plastic formica they inlay over their being. a fuck up like me just drifts past their vision like roadkill.
or a nasty rash that some cream gets rid of if applied quick enough and regularly enough.
nice families of 2 plus 2's.
with green lawns and hedges.
and debts.
and corrosion in their souls for the amphetimine rush of everyday working life only lasts a fraction of time and its kick back is a grim realization that the drugs don't work.
not even television acts as balm.
not even the shit they pump out on the radio.
just endless years of empty rhetoric and the thought of democracy.
give me a break.
giving me a fucking break.


Anonymous said...

democracy... now there's a fantasy if ever there was one.

and the shiny, happy, family values, christian people, they're the real terrorists.

nice one cj.

Anonymous said...

they make me wonder.
people who display their despair like a badge of honor...putrid and dark- showing off brusies and sores for pity's sake- no, it's NOT for's for shock value.
along with the green lawns, don't forget the daffodils- and lilly's I planted.
All while living on a budget- careful at home most nights, and packing lunches.
I'll take's better than living in public housing.
The highs achieved here are from watching the kids grow into beautiful people...and growing old with a loved one.
TV is mostly filth.
Game night with the kids is more entertaining- life, rummy, checkers.
Democracy sucks...I live in a Republic.
"and to the Republic for which it stands, one nation, under God, indivisible."

Yeah- give us a break.

Cocaine Jesus said...

democracy, like chritianity, fascism and communisum has failed us.
time for something new maybe.

K9 said...

what do the crunked up messiah and the drunken sage have to offer other than dark sarcasm and bitter cynicism?

elaborate on the something new then


Cocaine Jesus said...

k9>>>if only you could fucking read a blog maybe you wouldn't have to ask such a stupid question.

go fetch a fucking bone or a piss up a lamp post.

freya said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
K9 said...


i am impressed with how charitably you handled the tiniest of resistance.


Anonymous said...

CJ- you said,
"a fuck up like me just drifts past their vision like roadkill"

You seem to loathe the very people whose attention you are trying to get.
Why do you want us to notice you if you think so poorly of us?

I don't live with this state of make your choices, as do I.
If I saw you on the side of the road- I would stop to help you-
One thing I can't do is read your blog- or view the torture there.

Christianity may have failed you- it hasn't failed me...yet you would crucify me for that very thing?
For wanting to know God- and finding Him? For having peace in my life- for showing mercy?

For some- the Dark is authentic, and the Light is artifical.

I'd gladly run with the pack of dogs in the Light...and we always welcome newcomers. Our club is not as exclusive as yours...

Peace I leave with you~

Cocaine Jesus said...

mayden>>>christianity never failed me. it never had a chance. i have my own faith and it is in the light. christianity has failed because of the office of the church. the pope and such. homophobic, sexist wankers. i too would and do help any human being that needs my help. as for crucifying you or any other christian where on earth did you get that from?
by and large christianians are good and have my total support. my mother is one. christians and their faith have my support. they are good people. we all need to live together and understand each other. why would i want to crucify christians? where have i ever said that i hate christians?
the arrogance of christianity is perplexing as is some of the myths they have created about themselves. my way of life allows me to live in peace with people in love and harmony without the constant one up man ship that so many christians have.
christ (as you call him) was a fantastic human being. i cherish his words and teachings.
doesn't mean that i have to buy into the christian church which has nothing to do with the man you call jesus.
how the hell did we get onto this subject in the first place?
i have nothing against you?
these words of mine are not condeming christianity but rather the people who go around wearing rose tinted spectacles telling us everything is good in the world.
it isn't.
there is corruption. there is sin. there is business.
i am sorry, truly sorry if i have offended you or anyone else. it certainly was not my intention. i was putting my voice out on the blog as i thought i had a right to be heard.
maybe i was wrong.
time for cocaine jesus to return to being plain old russell i guess and leave behind this false blogging place altogether.

Cocaine Jesus said...

k9>>>i would not dream of going onto your site or anyone elses and bad mouthing anything you or they may have written. what gives you the right?
if you don't like what i have written and wish to make a negative comment then use your brain and the courtesy that your parents taught you and couch your feelings in a better way. i have no problem with anyone giving me a forthright opinion. i have a major problem with anyone just mouthing off.

K9 said...


i didnt think my comment was the very least it matched the tone of your original post.i sincerely was asking what is the something new....the reordering of your internet handle was...okay poorly handled. my apologies then.

i have had a dogfight or two on my own page, now dismantled, but i never defined what could or should be said to me, or how anyone should behave including anonymous posters. but that's my i know yours. i hear you and will range along


Cocaine Jesus said...

k9>>>let us put it behind us and move on ok?

a slight misunderstanding on both our parts.

Anonymous said...

I can only know you by your words,
and by your blog- which I have visited, and it was a sad thing for me to see.

I agree with you that men have failed us, but not Christ-

As to your condemnation of me/ my faith~
You didn't disagree with the "AP" when she said, "and the shiny, happy, family values, christian people, they're the real terrorists."
That was an insult- and you said nothing to diffuse it. In essence I felt you agreed with her.
However, you can not be held accountable for her take on your "poem". I apologize if I mis-understood you because of that.

There is great sadness and loss in the world- but there is also hope.
And because I walk in hope- you could or might lump me in with the group who "Dress it all up pretty pink and flushed".
You could paint the ignorant (of the suffereing of the world) and the hopefull with the same brush-
all I would ask is that you be careful.

You do have the right to speak...anything and everything you'd like to say-
The right to be heard- to make others listen- is not a right that any of us have.

But I'm here- trying to listen...trying to understand.
It's not always easy.

I would like to read a post on what you do believe in...about the light you walk in. So much of what I've read here seems to be very dark.

I hope Russell you will come back here and share that with us...
I hope~
My email address is at my blog- you are free to write to me there if that would be better for you.

Cocaine Jesus said...

maydens voyage>>>thank you for your response. i have e-mailed you already. you should have got my e-mail early your am?