the unspeakable

as the words float around
at some level, meaningless
i close my eyes inside my head
and listen to the real conversation

in the background: a requeim
to the ghost never laid to rest
the child we miscarried
but bore always

disconnected
i watch a piece of me
flutter in the skies with joy,
at home again;
that's the one which was urs.

and in the foreground,
conversation.
swinging back and forth between
formal and a little less.

underlined,
by leaping hearts,
and peace;
and a link unseen.

all that we had once had been,
all we'd dreamed of being,
every moment we'd ever held,
and let go without weighing.

and everytime we'd stumbled in the dark
to tumble into the refuge of the other
and then, putting it aside,
carried on with life

and every death since then
and every wound since then
and every drop of blood ...
plays unheard, unseen in the background

and we say nothing at all
was us as unbreakable as we were?